Broken Seams
by bluestargem
Summary: It was one thing to be told on the night after one of the largest battles the Wizarding World had ever seen that your husband and daughter had both been murdered. It was another thing to be told that your estranged, once-beloved and now dead elder sister had been the one that killed them./ Oneshot: Andromeda ponders on the only thing she has left after the war.


**Broken Seams**

It was one thing to be told on the night after one of the largest battles the Wizarding World had ever seen that your husband and daughter had both been murdered. It was another thing to be told that your estranged, once-beloved and now dead elder sister had been the one that killed them.

Standing in the empty living room of her house, Andromeda Tonks nee Black closed her eyes and wished, for once, that she could forget.

-:-

She remembers long summer nights curled up together in one bed, whispering in case their mother came in and caught them out of bed. She remembers Bella's glowing eyes and dark hair swept across the pillows as she told Cissy and Andy thrilling stories of her first year at Hogwarts.

And sometimes, when the nights became too hot and the blankets were too stifling, they would simply lie awake together and giggle and whisper about fairytale nymphs and princesses and boys in Bella's grade and the best way to force baby Sirius to play dress-up with them. Sometimes they would even throw open the windows and point out the stars named after them, while Cissy pouted beside them at being left out.

"Bella," Cissy whispered on one of those nights, her voice suddenly quivering and uncertain. "What if Andy and I aren't sorted into Slytherin when we go to Hogwarts?"

"You will be," Bella said assuredly with a smile. She tossed back her hair arrogantly. "And if you won't, I'll go and threaten Dumbledore and make him sort you into Slytherin. He's the greatest wizard ever, you know, but I could do that. I would do that for you."

"Why?" Cissy asked curiously, eyes wide.

"Because we're Blacks," Bella answered, proud and beautifully confident, even then. "We're family. And family is everything."

-:-

She remembers the shock of Sirius being sorted into Gryffindor. She remembers Cissy's indignant expression and Bella's angry letter which spouted all sorts of insults and affronts at Sirius, at the "Gryffindor blood traitors", and at that "Mudblood lover, Dumbledore". And finally, she remembers Bella's final words in that letter: _make sure the Slytherins don't bully that little brat, Andy. Make sure to keep your head up high. Don't let them get to you, or to Sirius – he may be a Gryffindor now, but he's still family. Family is everything to us Blacks._

And she remembers Bella's scream of murderous, betrayed rage when they received the news that Sirius had betrayed them all and run away.

-:-

She remembers the whirlwind of fear, guilt, grief and love swelling within herself as she unlocked the door of the Black Mansion and stepped out of it for the last time. She remembers the regretful mix of euphoric freedom and remorse that she felt as she stole away under the stars to a faithful and waiting Ted, without a single farewell to either of her sisters.

And she remembers the hopeful, bitter, foolish thought that Bella would someday forgive her.

_Because family was everything._

-:-

She remembers pain and screams tearing at her throat, with Healers crowding urgently around her and a white-faced Ted clasping her hand tightly. She remembers the pearl-grey morning light peeping through the curtains of St Mungo's when finally, successfully gave birth to a baby girl.

She remembers naming their sweet-faced daughter Nymphadora, after the beautiful nymph in those fairytales she had spun with Cissy and Bella on those hot summer nights together because –

Because family was everything.

-:-

Afterwards, she clung to those memories of innocence and girlish hopes and fantasies – of Cissy dancing across a moonlit room to far-off music with that childish grace that only she could ever manage; of Bella, laughing wildly as she twirled barefoot across their bedroom carpet, dark eyes still pure and untainted; of the three of them, together in their light summer robes, whispering about princes and castles and distant dreams. But memories could not linger forever, and the more she heard of the brutal deaths of innocent children and mothers and entire families, the more they faded away, these girls of old, with the flowers in their hair and the sun in their laughs.

Because Bella was now an elusive shadow of dread, carrying with her whispers of crackling laughs and torturous deaths, and Cissy was now Narcissa Malfoy, the wife who loved and supported one of the most prominent Death Eaters of their time.

Some twenty years later, when the news came that Bella had killed Sirius – _their _Sirius, their handsome cheeky little boy who stole cookies for her when she was upset, and used to always greet Bella with a loud smack on the cheek and _because we're family _– the memories were completely gone.

-:-

And now, standing in the empty living room, Andromeda wondered if Bella had ever realised what she had done to her family.


End file.
